Selected Writings of Meghan Daum (Part I)

The following are my reflections on the essay "On the Fringes of the Physical World" from My Misspent Youth by Meghan Daum.
In this essay Daum finds herself unexpectedly immersed in an email relationship with a man she has not met in person. He is a fan of her work and manages through his email correspondence to charm his way into her heart and mind. However, the reality of the situation is that Daum creates the charming character that is the man on the other side of the world wide web. At first she finds her relationship with him to be the kind of relationship she has always wanted,

"Of all the troubling details of this story, the one that bothers me the most is the way I slurped up his attention like some kind of dying animal...but it is also revealed a subtler desire that i didn't fully understand at the time. My need to experience and old-fashioned kind of courtship was stronger than I had ever imagined." (pg. 21)

When she finally meets Pete, her email admirer, reality disappoints her. The mystery is gone from the relationship and he becomes as generic as any other man in New York City.

"...the physical world came barreling in with all the obstreperousness of a major weather system, and I ignored it. As human beings with actual flesh and hand gestures and Gap clothing, Pete and I were utterly incompatible, but I pretended otherwise." (pg. 23)

As she tries to reconcile the reality in her head with the reality of the outside world she comes to realize that in being so wrapped up in her virtual romance, she was neglecting the real people in her life and not automatically forgiving their flaws as she had done with Pete.

"I'd never forgiven their spasms and their speeches, never tied up my phone for hours in order to talk to them. I'd never bestowed such senseless tenderness on anyone." (pg. 24)

In the end, Daum gaines a stronger appreciation for the physical world and her relationships with the people in that world. Though this essay was my favorite out of the three by Daum, I can't help but wonder how she fell into flattery with Pete and did not find him creepy and ignore him after the second email message because that is what I would have done.