Reflections on "Silent Dancing" by Judith Ortiz Coffer

In Silent Dancing by Judith Ortiz Coffer, she recalls a silent home movie lasting only five minutes documenting a New Year's Eve party.  She remembers the movie as, "a great visual aid to my memory of  life at that time." The movie is in color, "the only complete scene in color I can recall from those years." (pg. 58). The fact that the movie is silent is significant for many reasons. In absence of noise, there is color in the movie, where in daily life there is constant noise, but the only predominant color is gray. The author recalls, "My memories of life in Patterson during those first few years are all in shades of gray. Maybe I was too young to absorb vivid colors...but that single color washes over the whole period." (pg. 58).

Throughout the essay her family is caught up in the juxtaposition with both the desire to assimilate yet hold onto their Cuban heritage and culture.  The "bright colors" of the upholstered furniture in the movie reflect the optimism of life in America despite the hardships of assimilation. The color and silence aspects of the movie both serve as a veil for reality to hide behind. The five-minute clip of celebration is only momentary in comparison to the harsh reality of daily life. When Judith questions her mother as to why the women are wearing red dresses in the film, her mother dismisses her question and Judith notes, "She doesn't have my obsession for assigning symbolism to everything." (pg. 59). Judith recalls one New Year's Eve that the family went to get their portrait taken at Sears. This family photo in a way represents their Americanization and achievement of the "American Dream" however difficult such a cliched dream is in reality.

Judith recalls the awkwardness of the silent dancing in the home movie. "Since there is no justification for the absurd movements that music provides some of us, people appear frantic, their faces embarrassingly intense. It's as if you were watching sex." (pg. 64). Shortly after this recollection, the voice of the narrator shifts from that of the author to that of her aunt, revealing some ugly truths to her about her cousin's abortion. "You say your mother pick up your doll from the couch and say; 'it was as big as this doll when they flushed it down the toilet,' that image has bothered you for years hasn't it?" (pg.65). The insides of the aunt reveal ugly things hiding beneath the surface of the brightly colored home movie.

The essay concludes with the author in a dreamlike state. Reflecting on her father's uncle, a dying alcoholic, "I realize that in his features I can see my whole family...I do not want to look into those eyes ringed in purple." (pg. 66). She envisions her own image behind her great uncle's face and does not wish to confront such a connection. Essentially, everyone in the home movie is the "New Year's fool" (pg. 63) because for the brief space of time during that New Year's party they allow themselves to be ignorant of reality and its lack of beauty.